So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
