Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
