Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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