I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I touched a dick in church today
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
