He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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