I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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