He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
