toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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