omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
