you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize