I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize