She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
