She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.