there was a trapeze. enough said
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!