I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.