Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?