I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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