omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
