what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.