i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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