piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
