I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
