And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
do herpes really smell.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
