dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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