The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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