Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize