And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
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Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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