We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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