I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have aggressive nipples.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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