this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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