That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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