i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
