he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You made out with two different species that night
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.