your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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