When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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