Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
