I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize