if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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