Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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