he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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