I want to have your abortion
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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