shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
