We're facebook friends in real life
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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