need another drink. this is the easiest way
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
