it wasn't lemon gatorade
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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