We named our party play list daddy issues
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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