There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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