OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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