I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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