i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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