The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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