I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize