We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize