Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm at about main and main street
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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